Chuck Norris Facts
Dr. Jay Maron

The giants upon whose shoulders Newton stood were standing upon Chuck's shoulders.

Chuck spaghettifies black holes.

The International Astronomical Union designates the Earth-Chuck system as a double planet.

If Chuck had been at Thermopylae, the movie would have been titled "1".

All geodesics end at Chuck's foot.

The mass of the Higgs boson is given by Chuck.

Chuck's protons never decay.

Erdos has a Chuck number of 1.

That which does not destroy us makes us more like Chuck.

Chuck can calculate electricity and magnetism in British units.

Chuck can metabolize dark energy.

Chuck does a roundhouse kick by spinning the Earth and holding out his foot.

The existence of Chuck quantizes the electric charge.

Chuck's demon kicks the butt of Maxwell's demon.

The SI unit of action is the "Chuck".

Chuck follows the "principle of most action".

Stephen Hawking retired from the Lucasian Chair to take up the Norris Chair.

When Chuck fights with the Avenges he is known as "Denim Man".

Iron man's suit is constructed from an Iron-Denim alloy developed by Chuck.

Once upon a time, Chuck wrote a letter and handed it to Szilard, who handed it to Einstein, who handed it to Roosevelt.

Robert Zubrin was going to abandon hope on Mars but then Chuck joined the Mars Society.

God uses Chuck's units.

Chuck tosses dwarfs.

Hilbert's list originally contained 24 problems and the first person he showed it to was Chuck.

Chuck writes letters of recommendation for his professors.

God wanted to make the universe supersymmetric but Chuck told him it's a dumb idea.

Chuck can make python pass by reference.

Chuck represents spinors with denim.

When Chuck picked up a viola, violinists stopped telling viola jokes.

The existence of Chuck causes the Zermelo Fraenkel axioms of set theory to break down.

Chuck is impervious to Lebesque integration.